Friday, December 31, 2004
Rain drops falling on my head...
The monsoon season has been around for quite some time already, but it never had the chance to drench me, but finally, it managed to catch me unprepared this time round(even though i always dun bring umbrella one).
Had to run in between blocks of flats, trekking through different terrains...
Never was i forced to go for an orientation run around my neighbourhood before, now then i know what my neighbourhood is like. It probably is the place with the most number of different HDB designs within a 2km radius!!! Some are very mazey, took me a while to figure out ways of not getting into the rain again.
But actually, the fun is not in exploring the HDB estates, its more of being doused by the pouring rain... cos it brings back memories, memories coupled with rain...
Remember the times when we were young where the adults just like to pamper us, shelter us under their umbrellas, making sure not even a single drop of rain could hit us for fear that we might fall sick? The times where you decided to run out from under their shelter just to really experience what is the feeling of raindrops falling on your head is like and ended up really falling sick? Or the times where you and your love one shared an umbrella, walking down the streets just giggling at how intimate and entertaining the situation is. Or the times that you had a tearful goodbye with your loved one under the pouring rain where you just let the rain hit you, mixing your tears with raindrops, still trying to put on a strong front?
These are just some memories that we'll be reminded of whenever the rain stops by to have a chat with us...
And today, i rushed out with open arms to greet rain happily... I had fun frolicking in the rain, trying to manoeuver myself to avoid the raindrops but discover that its highly impossible without the matrix effect. Haha, the rain was cold when it touches my skin, but warmed my heart. Looking back at all the memories that rain shared with me, it is as if i've found a long lost friend...
We listened and interacted, empathised and understood...
He enabled me to understand myself more as i reflect on my past.
A true friend is one which stays by you all the time, and rain, i see that in you.
So everybody, listen to the rhythm of the falling rain...
And look for those memories that you hold dear to you, don't lose them...
alvinz blogged at 1:04 AM
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Thursday, December 30, 2004
Andy, me and Victor... my pals!
alvinz blogged at 2:12 AM
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Thanks to Cui yun, the sweet girl in pink who managed to upload these pics we took after our work on Christmas day 2004. Elvin saw that all of us were so bored already until he also had no choice but to boost our morale by bringing us to this famous havelock road "zi cah", tasted darn nice!!! Hmmm... that was a nice gesture. Looking forward to working with you guys in the coming years! Hooyah!
Christmas taka roadshow 2004 taskforce!!!
alvinz blogged at 2:12 AM
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Boss Elvin and brother Eugene... So alike right? haha
alvinz blogged at 2:09 AM
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All empty!!! That was a nice treat! Finally tasted the food of this legendary place at havelock road!
alvinz blogged at 2:01 AM
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Awakening.
When you know how it feels,
thats when u'll understand ,
that your ideas would flow,
that there's nothing to hide,
and effort and committment comes naturally,
at no burden at all.
alvinz blogged at 1:00 AM
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
Sparks or no sparks?
What are sparks?
Sparks are present when u rub the open ends of the wires of an open circuit together.
Sparks are present when u rub 2 hard surfaces against each other.
And most importantly, sparks are present when 2 persons are in love.
But of course, there is a difference in the definition of sparks in the last example, and yet it could be similar as well.
Lets take a kiss for example, be it an act of desire, lust, affection or concern, people usually encounter sparks or no sparks. The sparks here refers to the special affinity felt when kissing, the resonance of frequency or wavelength between 2 people. When there's no sparks, it usually lead to the conclusion that 2 people are not meant for each other because they would deem it a natural process or encounter if 2 people are meant to be together.
After my first and biggest relationship, i thought i had learnt everything i needed to know about handling relationships, including intimacy. But i was wrong.... and actually many people are...
Here's the question....
How many of us had previous relationships that had kisses full of sparks? Probably the result of strong desires and lust? And how many of them are already history?
Haha... the strange irony isn't it? Many people overlooked the fact that the presence of sparks do not meant compatibility or garantee the success of union between 2 people. So how many of us encountered cold, dead lips when we kissed? Does that mean the person may not be incompatible to you after all? Any more chance?
Welllll..., not entirely true either. It depends on a whole lot of factors, such as is the other party concentrating at the point in time when they are kissing? Or are there numerous thoughts going true his/her mind during kissing, what i called distractions? Anxiety, nervousness, or even keeping their options open are common reasons as well. And i have just recently encountered this reason, they could even be asking themselves:"What am i doing? Is it right? What was my previous boyfriend's kisses like?" Hah...
In the event that this happens to you, you had better re-assess the relationship then. Will the other party listen to you and try again, this time without all these distractions? Or has the other party already succumbed to these misconceptions of incompatibility, and is too stubborn to listen to you? I would advised people to just give up if the second possibilty strikes, because there is just no point in carrying on making things right when the other party dun even wanna give it another shot, because they no longer love you enough to put in more effort.
Two palms are needed to clap.
No doubt about it.
In my search for answers, i decided to ask my friends and people who are married on their ideas of sparks.
14 yr-old girls at Taka, Deidrea, Stefani and Noelle: No sparks means the girl dun like you lor.... Or you all are not compatible, or both of you aren't meant to be together?
Michelle,21, and Steven, 23, couple: Sparks are not all the time one, can't kissing just be a show of concern? Must it be full of sparks and everything nice? We still love each other even though when there's no sparks wat. Think it all depends on the atmosphere, location, condition of participants and thoughts of the participants at the point of time.
Andy, 21 year old bud,attached: Yes, got sparks. But not all the time la. Sometimes also dunno why no sparks leh. But you got what you want anyway isn't it? *Wink*
Eugene, 23 year old NUS arts undergrad: What? Because of no sparks then called it incompatibility? Crazy ah? Then there'll be no lovebirds in this world liao.
Wendy, married 27 yr old: Me and my husband has no sparks at all. It doesn't matter, we know we love each other. Love and sparks are different.
Elvin, 27 yr old manager of mine: Sparks? As long as both parties know they love each other, sparks dun matter at all. How can u have sparks even after quarreling? Sparks aren't garanteed all the time one wat. Its committment i tell you, thats the most important thing. No long lasting relationship will have sparks all the time one. Let those who believes in this foolish thinking to go on fantasizing about their prince charming who will swept them off their feet and live happily ever after. I tell you, they only place they'll get to is to the bed! I'm sorry bro, but ur gf isn't mature enough to see this fact that relationships aren't build on what is shown in the movies, in romance books or what many girls are dreaming of. Sparks can be created easily. Let all those love-cheats teach them a lesson lor, only thru that way then they'll learn. Persuading and caring for them dun work, so let them try it for themselves lor. Dun take it upon yourself.
Even though these feedbacks do not represent the views of everybody in Singapore, they do show some trends.
As the age of the interviewees increased, implying maturity and more experiences in relationships, there is an increase in number of people who believes that sparks are not what makes up a relationship, but rather, committment and the feelings for each other is. All those romance shows and fiction novels have polluted the minds of many, planting seeds of misconceptions in love and romance. How i wish i could burn all these evil things! I too, have succumbed before, and now you...
The words of my manager truly moved me. That was what i see all along, even though i can't confirm that i'm correct. I just didn't know how to make you see my point, wisdom of personal experiences. Perhaps you are like the rest of the girls who dun see the danger, or appreciate what i'm doing today. Or perhaps you are doing something which you think is the best for us but which is not actually and too stubborn to listen to me. I dun know, you dun wanna say, how to see thru the barrier you erected before me.
Elvin also told me that he and his girlfriend are also complete opposites, but they complement each other completely. Which he confirmed, is actually good. Just like even though you know how to talk and do business, u also need to know all the paper work and admin stuff to make your whole business complete, and i feel that you make me complete. Maybe i didn't have the chance to make you complete, thats why the feeling isn't mutual. But thats already history.
Among many things, the reasons you gave wasn't satisfactory and i'm not being stubborn. Perhaps its really just a change in heart, or perhaps its just "For the greater good" motto that you follow that you did this to me, but i forgive you. I knew you as the kind-hearted soul who pulled me up when i was down, who was there for me when i needed you, who did truly loved me and showed me gentleness like no other. And this will never change for as long as i remember, for as long as i live.
But i'll back off, and release you to seek your desires and ideology.
Only then would you realise...
Only then would it really be fulfilled...
The prophercy of the shooting star...
If fate decrees...
We'll meet again in our hearts...
Words from a friend:
" I'll be here if you need me...
So come to me...
Always... "
alvinz blogged at 2:18 PM
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
Tears
Tearing is something thats very hard to explain.
Why are tears sometimes countable and sometimes its a streak, a stream?
And tearing could mean that you are happy or angry or sad or touched?
But the most puzzling thing about tears is, they cleanse our eyes, which is good, and yet most of the time, its over something bad?
The bad connotations it has build up over the history of languages seems to disgrace people practicing this outburst of true feelings...
So basically, everyone dun like other people to see them tear...
Why?
Tears could tell you more about urself. It is the basic manifestation of everybody's true feelings. People always cry without questioning why issit so hard to control them at the point in time.
And why people dun like to let other people see them cry?
Because they dun want other people to know their true feelings? Because they dun want their thinking to be predictable? What's so bad about that?
I dunno, i myself dun like to either...
So why are all these tears here now, when i've swallowed them all just now already?
Because i didn't want to be predictable?
Because i'm a man? A hero?
Because i dun want to appear weak and vulnerable?
I think i'm more of a panda now...
And so r u... who did the same as me...
alvinz blogged at 5:10 AM
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Thanks!
I just wanna say a big thank you to you....
Hope you are seeing this...
Truly, sincerely... thank you.
Anyway, how's the present? Feedback hor... i dun want my presents to become rubbish hor...
Make sure got use... haha...
alvinz blogged at 5:00 AM
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Christmas Olympics!!!
First off, a Merry Christmas to all my relatives, buds and anyone who knows me. Everybody had fun? I'm sure most of us did... haha... Me included.
Basically, this christmas eve was a.... hmmm... eventful as well as uneventful one for me...
Ever thought of trying to ambush a person to surprise them? I think guys better think twice before doing it cause they might encounter all sorts of trouble they didn't really expect.
Being the founder of the one of its kind "Anything-also-can-try-doing" consultancy company, i recently came up with another project, that is "Civilian ambush project". The jism of this plan was to try to intentionally meet with another party without any prior arrangements with the other subject.
1400hrs- Props fully prepared, no move time executed.
1600hrs- Final confirmation of intelligence from secret agents.
1800hrs- Suit up and ready to go! Launching of mission.
Props include, dreamcatcher, candy cane, card and plastic bag.... What? Where are the flowers? Darn!!! The agents reported first shortfall of operations, all the florists are closed.
Nevertheless, problem rectified at 2000hrs...
Venue: Raffles City Shopping Centre, B1
Florist shop sighted with gate ajar, just halfway to full shutting down. Managed to persuade pretty shop owner to do just one final order. Good thing i'm handsome enough, one tulip bouquet coming right up!
Phew! Close shave to mission failure, the usual encounters in a typical SAF operation.
2015hrs
Venue: City hall MRT
Analysis of new intelligence report indicates high possibility of subject appearing at the esplanade where there's less crowd, the presence of a cool singapore's-very-own jazz band entertaining the house and sea view coupled with sea breeze. Preference matching with subject...100%. Moving towards new "rendevous point". Somehow, had a feeling that subject is wearing red and black today.
2030hrs
Ground search operations started at suntec. Nothing escapes my eagle eyes... Left a message with the fountain of wealth:"Calling for yx. Planning surprise but can't find you. You know where to meet when u see this message." Combed Millenia walk, hardly any flys around even during festive seasons.
2130hrs
Ground search opeartions halted. Hmm... no results yet. Did i miss something? hmmm... Found out much more about the esplanade today. Search recommenced, leaving no tables unturned.
2230hrs
Search is futile with no further inputs of intelligence. Frequency jammed by unknown enemies. Subject could be anywhere. Settling down for jazz break. Morale low. 90 minutes to end of H-hour. Darn! Mission seems certain to fail.
2400hrs
Mission failed. Unforeseen circumstances hindered by poor communication and advanced jamming. Subject unlocated.
Theory of impromtu ambush is proven to have a high possibility of failure even with intelligence support. Probability of success, as good or even lesser than striking 4D or ToTo. Naiveness and overconfidence found to be main ingredients of this project. Lesson learnt, no more casablanca imitations.
Anyway, that was one hell of a christmas operation for me man.... Shag... Thus, i gave it the name Christmas Olympics. Say.... does anyone wanna try breaking the record for finding the needle dropped into the sea just by snorkelling?
alvinz blogged at 3:52 AM
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Saturday, December 18, 2004
Words of Wisdom
"What is discipline?
It means succeed in doing the things which you know you need to do but which most of the time, are things you hate or things not to your preference.
Hardwork?
It means always doing discipline things to your maximum available effort and frequency."
These are the wisdom i learnt today...
Hmmm... now how many of us actually understood all this and yet, still chose to do otherwise when the going gets tough? Giving up on what we must do is as good as giving up on ourselves, depriving ourselves of success.
Is that being fair to our potential? Our amibitions? Our loved ones?
I've decided to pick up my diver mentality again as i brace myself for the tough times ahead.
Get started today!
Every little time wasted is your own upkeep!
alvinz blogged at 1:28 AM
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Sunday, December 12, 2004
Guessing Game
I can't make out what you are trying to say because your hints are too blurry, too little, too hard...
So how can i determine what goes thru your mind?
I can only guess...
and guess...
and guess...
alvinz blogged at 1:23 AM
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Sleepless in Bukit Panjang
In the stillness of the night,
i roam, like an aimless spirit,
searching for my torch,
to find my way in the dark.
Mortals know the dreaded sound,
of clocks, ticking away their time,
the irony of it,
of nought squandered from me.
Day and night that precedes us,
as chains, locking our hearts,
erecting barriers,
resurrecting monotony.
Spiritual energies surround me,
I called, the moment is ripe,
For the fruits of hope,
Come, bear forth, free us all!
Wherefore changes?
Wishful thinking?
Dreaming my hope,
Apollo seeks me but Anubis held me.
My spirits all weary and worn,
futile, is my existence,
as legacy crumbles,
forgotten was our tale.
dedicated to many sleepless people out there, like me...
The air is really cool now, the households are really quiet...
The occasional music of homeless cats and dogs in symphony resonates my feelings...
I can't describe it fully, but i guess the night understands me...
here is where i'm going to have a chat with him...
alvinz blogged at 3:41 AM
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Sunday, December 05, 2004
First class outing in like so many
donkey years...
Funniest thing is that, its a uni class outing, most people think that they will never get so close with each other in uni because the people in your class are most likely to be different every semester...
And as usual, it was more of a "We've only just started to get to know one another better then now we are going our seperate ways liao?" situation.
But no regrets la, considering the things we've done together, the understanding that we have, the common jokes that we shared, all within such a short span of time, it was just amazing though...
But of all the places, we ended up going to Newton Circles Hawker Centre....
Its really not my kind of place considering the exorbitant prices for the local food fare, and some of the dishes weren't even nice... yucks!
Well, since i didn't even bother to join in the discussion on where to go, i suppose i have no rights to complain... haha...
After that, we went Orchard since we decided that the night was still young, went through the Christmas Funfair just outside Orchard MRT... the layout was good and supported by some bands performing christmas songs, i really felt a little of the christmas flavour...Plus, they had some great games for kids there, and do check out the scary horror funhouse, darn corny... even the description of "the monsters inside are friendly and horrible" speaks a lot about its contents... haha...
There is also the synthetic rubber skating rink... Quite small, not cool and not smooth... but at $5 unlimited duration,and the proceeds going to charity, maybe some of us would like to try it out...
We then decided to stick with our original plan of playing pool and boy oh boy... Little did i expect that i'll be insulted again...
Imagine the scene where i was standing at the counter with the guys, asking for a pool table... And that was when i caught the attractive female cashier in the eye...
our eyes met...
all the other people seem oblivious to us...
hmmm....
we locked our gaze at each other for like 5 seconds...
Chemistry between us...?
at exactly 5.01 sec, i detected a change in her expression...
her eyebrows shooting upwards and her facial muscles contracting into a frown...
Thats it, i saw it coming....
"Is this guy old enough？"
I was like..................................... WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!
If she asks this question, it means that she thinks that i looked younger than 16!!! AAaaaaHHHhh!!!!
All the guys didn't really catch onto what was going on until i stormed off to the girls...
Not to mention, the hour plus teasing i suffered as the joke spread like hell fire through the group... oh man! i demand compensation lor... hurt my fragile heart... sob sob...
Aiya, i'm also numb about it liao la... but really need to do something about this childish appearance of mine ah.... moustache? more pimples? wrinkles? i dunno... darn!
Well, we ended off on a high note, cos the girls dun really know how to play pool hah...
And Darren better watch out ah, for teasing me throughout the pool game... Grrr....
Will it be the end of us? well, it remains to be seen... but i'm sure whenever we see one another in school, there'll always be time to "la kopi in the canteens" right?
haha...
Best Wishes to all!!!
alvinz blogged at 1:17 AM
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Saturday, December 04, 2004
Mixed Feelings
I dunno what to say, dunno what to think ...
Was writing a song, a poem, a story...
But now they are all in shambles...
Maybe i'll pick them up again, maybe not...
Fate comes and goes as it please...
We mortals are just pawns in its game...
Try as i might, as hard as i may...
Some things can't be erased...
This is all i have, that is all u want...
Something simple we messed up...
I met starlight in its glory and he told me...
The time isn't right, for when it is time, he'll shoot thru the sky...
As i shrugged my way towards a new unbeaten path...
And you onto yours...
Sadly, happily, excitedly, boringly...
We wouldn't know where we'll all end up...
If time would allow, if fate decreeds...
We would find each other again...
Dedicated to US who parted 4/12/2004
alvinz blogged at 1:48 AM
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