Understanding life's lessons...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

lalala~ i love u 9999...

Take a look a this!!!
Haha... 9 thousand 9 hundred and 99 roses for my dear...
So romantic sia?
Damn! I'm a good casanova... :)
Well anyway, more of this cute games available over at the new link i've just added(Cute games). Try to beat my score!

alvinz blogged at 5:50 PM

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Friday, March 25, 2005

Life is...

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans for this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,
how many people you've dated,
or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,
or what kind of music you listen to.
It's not about if you hair is blonde, red, black, or brown.
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
how smart everybody else thinks you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in
or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper
and seeing who will "accept the written you"

LIFE JUST ISN'T.

But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust of your friends.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumours and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgments you pass and why,
and who your judgements are spread to.
It's about how rumours and judgements intentionally or
unintentionally been spread to hurt others

It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge,
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow
and spreading it.

But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other
people's hearts & minds in such a way that could have never occurred alone.

Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
and those choices are what life's all about.

P/S: Extracted this from a mail from a long time friend who is now having difficulties with his studies, or basically, his life. He is currently very depressed and frightened of socialising with people, afraid that they are sticking to these "rules of engagement". But how many of us actually did one or more of such anti-life things mentioned above? I can't blame him for being depressed because i cannot cover his eyes from seeing the truth about the kind of life many people are leading today. He is afraid that one day, he would be hurt by them, or worst still, become one of them. In memory of the once cheerful him, i hope i could see the sunshine in him once again soon.

A lot of people have asked me before, why do i have to look at life in such a practical/extreme/depressing/(watever u might call it, you get my point) way? Then let me ask all of you, how can you reject the truth and be oblivious to it? I can see with my eyes and i dun wanna pretend that i'm blind. And seriously, i do get depress sometimes too, but at least i still can control my emotions well enough to survive. And its true that there's no clear definition to what life is, and everyone has the right to live life the way they want it to be. And i can't enforce anything on anyone and i'm not a great philosopher like confucius where each words he says, people would cherish it like gold or diamonds. But at least i make a point to change those who even bother to think about it after reading what i've posted, and to reflect on themselves. Heh heh, i hope this helps! :)

alvinz blogged at 1:55 PM

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Brotherly love

Dun be mistaken, i'm not turning gay, not so desperate also...
I received an emergency distress call from my buddy Guangjie on Wednesday night, the ailment thats plaguing him :"Self induced heart disorder( aka lovesick)"

Me, love doctor immediately springs into action and questioned his symptoms to confirm his assumed sickness.

Symptoms include: Heartache, depression, taking initiative to call for help, madness and suicidal thoughts!

Lovesick confirmed! Require immediate action!

Case log:

??? = Guangjie , (f) = me

[08:48:12 PM] ???: ??!!!??: hey bro
[08:48:12 PM] ???: ??!!!??: the worst has happened
[08:48:20 PM] ???: ??!!!??: damn sad now
[08:53:44 PM] (f) The war : wat happened?
[08:53:53 PM] ???: ??!!!??: she attach liao
[08:53:58 PM] ???: ??!!!??: jus saw her wif her bf
[08:54:06 PM] (f) The war : her bf is someone u know?
[08:54:42 PM] ???: ??!!!??: my last tut class one

[09:18:23 PM] ???: ???????: go study lar
[09:18:29 PM] ???: ???????: i need some time to cool down
[09:18:45 PM] (f) The war : but u sure u no problem?
[09:19:01 PM] ???: ???????: if u see me tml
[09:19:02 PM] (f) The war : else i bring some beer and rush down to
drink with u at ur hall

Action taken at approximately 2230, ETA:0000

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Time: 0000

Reached patient right on time, armed with a bottle of coca cola , F&N orange, and also a bottle of Tequila. He was in a state of calmness, surprisingly calm. Welcomed me into his room and started talking about all things irrelevant to the root of his predicament.

Administering of first dosage:

Patient showed immediate signs of recovery, baring out his frustrations in increasing amounts. The flames burning within him is beginning to surface to his face, a sign that the devil has let go of his tormented soul. And through his words, i got to know the reason for his current state. He spotted the girl with another guy, another guy whom he thought to be a loser who can neither beat him in looks or character other than being financially well-to-do and owns a car, courtesy of his parents.

And after seeing them hanging out lovingly at his hall, he knew that the sign has come for him to face the delayed rejection he has been waiting for. He remembered that when he first broke news to her about his affection for her, she told him she wasn't ready for a relationship and that they should remain as friends for the time being. He was there whenever she needs him, and she wasn't even there when he just wanted to have a good chat with her. It was a one-sided love he dun wanna admit, just as it was, a one-sided friendship.

And now, surely she is definitely not not ready for a relationship, but just that he wasn't the one she is looking for. And what a hell of a taker she has been? So greedy as to continue pulling strings with him just for the utility he renders? Tsk Tsk, i think someone gotta teach this person a lesson...

Oh well, he reassured me that he will no longer keep his heart close to other potentials already, such a faithful guy right? So any girls out there wanna know him? I can match make hahaha...

Second dosage:

Patient's anger dissipation rate has gone up exponentially, looks set to fully recover in an hour's time...

Third dosage:

Patient recovered from the initial impacts of lovesick. Attention diverted to another bud who joined us with a similar illness who drank with us till he concuss because he can't hold his liquor so well... haha... Had some fun there, but i shall keep the embarassing moments to myself ya? :)

And that basically sums up my rescue operation...

Haiz... Why is everyone down with this illness? Is it contagious?
Can someone just invent the "drink- of- memory- loss" and save these people?
Its beginning to remind me of the film "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" where people can just see a psychiatrist who hypnotised them into forgetting their broken heart. That will surely come in handy heh... I just hope that time can mend their hearts, even though i know it can't really do so...

P/S: Next time cannot do this liao, had one hell of a time dozing off at every lesson, and i still have to go thru the freaking maths test which ended well though. Haiz... not young anymore lo... So anyone got any heart wrenching stuff wanna share? We have a love doctor here... 24 hours standby... haha... diao diao... pls pls, no more night shift for me... *Yawnz*

alvinz blogged at 11:42 AM

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The true me...

"A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy."

You are the one that makes me drowsy in ur love,
The one which i'm only comfortable with revealing my true self,
No other comes close,
There will be no others...

alvinz blogged at 11:41 AM

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

Wedding bliss again!!!

Hi all, latest footage from my boss, Elvin's wedding at marina mandarin hotel on the 5th of March.... Darn, this place sure brings back memories... ;P

Elvin and Ivy sure looks like they are meant for each other after a long relationship of 9 years.... Wow! Thats super long right? hahaha... So sweet...

The dinner was good, the usual suckling pig, abalone, sharks fins... yummmy!

It sure was a fun night... Not to mention my outing with Andy, Victor and NUS pageant queen, huishan(pageant queen? Hah! I dun think she can match my special someone lor... Serious!) later at the liquid room which ended with me and Victor going off to Hooters at Clarke Quay later for a long overdue bachelor night! hahaha... Dun get the wrong idea la, nothing naughty happened... Just catch the Chelsea match and some asses and butts... Oopps! hahaha

Anyway guys, enjoy the pics...

From left: Kok, Elvin the Man, Jo, Jeffrey and yiquan...

alvinz blogged at 11:59 PM

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Looking like a fine wine taster... Kok and his wine appreciation... except that its beer! hahaha

alvinz blogged at 11:49 PM

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Joanne and Jo... oooo... like bro and sis...

alvinz blogged at 11:47 PM

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The seniors! Kok, Jo and Jeffrey! Best buds!

alvinz blogged at 11:46 PM

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Seniors again... hmmm... looking a bit high here... hahaha...

alvinz blogged at 11:43 PM

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The underdogs again!!! Dun worry, i'm not drunk yet... But rather, i think Victor better watch his liquor... remember what happened during the agency chalet gathering? wahahaha... Nah, i will have to send him home after that, so... better take care of him too...

alvinz blogged at 11:41 PM

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The underdogs!!! From left: Andy, me, Victor(oops), Desmond

alvinz blogged at 11:41 PM

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Hmmm... a little bit of voyuerism here... After NS still so desperate meh? kaoz...
Wonder who's this pretty girl sitting at the next table?

alvinz blogged at 11:38 PM

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Ihalmi back from Indonesia and enjoying himself on his boss's wedding... When's his turn? Think he'll provide my air ticket to Jarkarta? hahaha...

alvinz blogged at 11:35 PM

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Saturday, March 12, 2005

Band prac No.2!

Taking shape...
Had a hybrid song which turned out really well, think that would be our encore song... Hmmm... wats next?
Dun tell all of you!
Just make sure you turn up for our live performance which will be coming during the school hols!
Yeah!
Suspense right?
Dun worry, good stuff one!
Stay tuned!!!

alvinz blogged at 2:36 AM

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

WHo dun wanna get H.I.T.C.H?

Absolutely fabulous, HITCH is a must-see for everyone...
Starring Will Smith and other great artistes, he was darn cool inside this show... never knew that he could actually act out my character so naturally and fluently... haha, so BHB right? But seriously, maybe i could consider switching over to his job once i graduate. Think after all those practices by my friends and experiences by myself, i'm qualified le hahaha...

Well, back to this show... Dun worry, no spoilers ahead... Just wanna say that it touched on sensitive topics that are actualkly stereotypical views of women and men actually thinks in a relationship. The script is very well written to balance off such views in the end such that no stand was taken by the movie to criticise any gender. But of course, those who say they dun wanna get hitch, i am seriously pondering the truth of their resolution. hmmm...

Well anyway, this is probably the only show worth watching right now and before the route to exams start again... sigh... Everybody work hard ya? Watch tons of movies after exams tog ya?
haha...

A note to my special someone: I had wanted to ask you to watch this show with me because it has your favourite Will Smith inside(yeah!), and i know that u are probably too busy to entertain me haha... I just wanna tell you that if you ever had the chance to catch this great show, you'll know who albert brennaman is.... I wanna be him, and you, my Allegra...

alvinz blogged at 11:23 PM

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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Out darn dreams!

They say that the more you think about one person in the day, the more likely you will be dreaming of this same person that you've been thinking of...

But i'm not so sure about it now that i've been dreaming of this same person even though i'm trying very hard not to think of her...

Every night, i'll be living in this make believe world where i'm constantly rejected,and constantly living in fear where any moment, i could lose you...

You seem so real, just before my eyes,
I tried to reach out to touch you,
to let you hear my words,
but i'm a wandering spirit,
You are so near and yet so far,
separated by nothing but circumstances,
And then, i floated back to reality,
that just stops short of a living hell...

I yearn for the nights where i could have a peace of mind,
have the kind of sleep which i dunno whether i'll still wake up the next morning,
and if only i could,
i would,
put an end to this...

alvinz blogged at 1:56 AM

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Saturday, March 05, 2005

Strawberry Jam??!?!?
Formation of my band...

Hey! Who the hell thought of Strawberry Jam as my band's name? It originates from Edwin and Steven when they saw the Ai Otsuka(Japanese singer of love jam album) on my wallpaper and decided to come up with this corny name... May i appeal to my friends who are reading this to come up with new suggestions?> Else i think all the gay societies will be looking for us to perform for them liao hahaha...

Back to the topic...

Now, it has always been my dream of being in a band, a place where i could make music with a few of my trusted friends, have no stupid office politics or what so ever and just build the common understanding, make beautiful music together and leave the audience hungering for more... And that reminds me, i should come up with my list of dreams soon...

Well, i guess this is still quite a long way off because we are only having our first practice today... We are just like a seed waiting to extend its roots to the soil and grow... and i'm glad that today, I'm the farmer planting and watering this seed... The sense of achievement and the immense possibility of us attaining great heights motivates me to propel everyone forward...

But still, we are progressing well, with the recruitment of 3 guitar enthusiasts and masters, Jarryl, Darren and Jason Liu, keyboard player Jason Chan... I thought i could be the bass guitar player, but i guess the 3 masters are more than enough... haha... *sheepish* Guess i can only take over as the lead vocalist liao... Muahahaha!!! Not that useless huh?

Other than this first choice combination, we also had Steven and Edwin as the support side, the backup bass guitar and drummer. And also we had a pretty girl joining us for the session as the photographer, Tiandi, my best female China friend haha... She also wanna see what a band is like close-up hahaha... Maybe she can become our secretary or admin officer? hahaha... then can attract all the business for performance sia?... Hmmm... Is Tiandi reading this? hope she is fine with this... Muahahaha!!!

Lets see, the songs we practised were "The reason-hoobastank", "Zhen de ai ni-beyond"," Fen xiang-Sky Wu", "Ji mo de ji jie-Tao Ze","I'll be there for you-bon jovi","When you say nothing at all-Ronan Keating","Love me-Collin Ray","ming tian de mign tian de ming tian-power station","na jiu zhe yang ba-power station","Accidentally in love-counting crows"and "more than words". Tried a variety of genres, and seriously, ballads and pop songs dun seem to be a problem at all, guess we need to work on the rock songs which are more intensive than any other genres... Perhaps try on songs like "Vindicated-dashboards confessionals" or "Behind blue eyes-limp biskit"? haha... my special someone shd be quite happy to hear them one day right?...

And sad to say, i think we still need a drummer even though the masters are able to double up as one... So friends, can i appeal to you all for your help to find one good drummer for me? Just one will do hahaha... thanks dudes!

Without further ado, here are the pics!!!

Steven and Edwin looking dao on the first practice...

alvinz blogged at 4:55 AM

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playing together... these 2 pals have been guitar buds for a long time liao, their common understanding and combination is darn cool... even i was captivated by their music...