Saturday, December 09, 2006

And... i called her...

slept at 3:30 last night and woke up so early at 8 this morning...
really wats wrong with me?
just cant get enough sleep these days...
i think i've been thinking too much already...

and i just cant stand the urge...
i remembered my morning irritating phone calls to you...
i missed ur scolding...
i missed ur sleepy voice...

so i called you after much reluctance...
but you didn't pick it up this time...
waited for you to return my call but you didn't...
and i decided to call you one more time which you didn't pick up again...
then i smsed you to tell u i'm sorry and that i know u r not ready to talk to me and i hope u r still fine and happy...

its been a week since i last heard your voice...
miss it so much...

and i'm just dying to know what are the things going on in your life...
i wanna know how you are getting...
and i wanna share how things are going for me too...
and i wonder if u r dying to know the things going on in my life?
or perhaps it doesn't matter to you already...

somehow, this whole thing is making me numb...
numb to all the pain...
i have been in pain all these while...
getting used to their company...
and i feel that people who might wanna hurt me, can just come...
come hurt me!
i'll be numb to you all!
cos there's no one who can hurt me as much as she does...

its ironical why everytime its always the people who matter most to you, are able to hurt you the most...
its precisely that they matter, that every hurt they whip has added impact...
they are important pple in your life because you feel that they have the least possibility of hurting you...
but when they really do...
it really hurts like hell...
hurts like you've been stabbed right thru the heart...
its like only one hurt can take ur life away...

now that she didn't even reply my sms nor return my call, i realise that she is really really firmer this time in trying to get her directions right...
and i just wanna tell her that she needn't rush into a relationship with me,
but i can be there to help her to move on...
that is if she wants to...

but i dunno how to tell her this...
will it get thru to her?
will she even read my sms?
i'm always here for you girl...
always...

alvinz blogged at 9:39 AM

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