Saturday, December 02, 2006
Continuing my life...
I ate on my own, simply no appetite, my third meal in 2 days...
Guess it'll help me slim down...
I shopped on my own for my running shorts,
bought the first design i saw... simply no mood...
gonna walk around on my own and people-watch abit,
spending a little bit of quiet time with myself after so long...
got another inspiration for a song, "wu sheng de zhu fu"
hate it why i only have inspirations for song writing only when i'm sad...
gonna cry my head out later again...
wonder whether i have the heart to finish the marathon tomorrow...
he must be savouring his victory now, every single second of it... woo hoo~
she must be savouring his presence now, every single second of it... woo hoo~
i must be licking my wounds now, every single stab of it...
And i wonder, will she ever tell me when they've patched up again?
probably an sms like "Hi, i'm sorry to tell you that i've patched up with my ex again, so please dun continue to wait for me anymore. wait till you are ok already then we be friends ok? you take care..."
haha, so like her style...
but i guess it doesn't matter...
And I was just wondering, whenever people encourage me to move on, they will tell me the usual stuff like "life still has to go on..." and you know, its really true because i'm alive, and when i'm alive, i've no choice but to let my life go on...
just like a burning candle which does not have a choice but to keep burning till the end of its wick until of course, the wind blew it out...
oh man, i hate being a candle man...
maybe i need the wind...
and on a fellow blogger who has met with a tragic end in relationships like me, blogged about his account most gracefully here : http://jalpuna.com/2006/12/the_lover_and_t.shtml . the story of the lover and the beloved... sad...
I realised really how unappreciative women always become when they are being loved, they feel as if the poor good guy loving them do it because they deserves it, because they are already providing their company and thats good enough...
When will i meet a poor good girl for myself, the poor good guy?
Love is indeed a feeling...
A feeling that adds colours to what you see,
adds melody to your ears,
adds taste to ur food,
adds fragrance to the things you smell,
and adds sweetness to your heart...
And the world i'm living in now lacks the colours, the taste, your melody, your fragrance and the sweetness u tainted my heart with...
And now i'm beginning to understand you a bit more...
you are afraid of embracing me because you are afraid that all these may not be there...
you are afraid of changes, wishing that even though some things have changed previously, you can still endure it just hoping that it will not change again instead of starting something new...
afraid of the risks that it entails...
afraid that if you gave your past up, it might turn out to be your one and only true one...
and thats why u chose to block me up and hang on to your past...
block my love for u as u are afraid that the more u began to fall deeper with me, you will be forced to face all your fears alone, forgetting that i'm there to face it all with you...
its just you...
how silly can you get? bobo...
alvinz blogged at 3:13 PM
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