Friday, December 15, 2006

The final steps...

Checking through my fading procedures...

1- clean up friendster account, change status to single - check
2- stop viewing our photos and hide them up somewhere in hope i'll forgot in time to come - check
3- change my handphone pic - check
4- present for tmr - check
5- delete all her sms from my phone - hmm... maybe later... when i have the courage to do so ba

Wat else? hmm...

you know, somehow i just dun feel too good about it...
i'm feeling the pain again...
the pain of losing her to some jerk...
the pain of knowing that she'll suffer...
the pain of losing such a nice soulmate...
the pain of leaving her to fend for herself...

God! Why issit still so painful?
Isn't my mind madeup already?
didn't i have the courage to do it already?

i can't believe that i'm still dreaming on the bus trips that i had throughout the week, of the happy times we'll have if we got together,
thinking of all the things we can do together,
thinking of the stuff we like,
thinking of how happy we'll be,
and i'll be smiling to myself...
wat the heck!
Stop this nonsense!

i dunno...
i am afraid she'll get hurt...
really...
if she gets hurt, i'll feel hurt too...
if she feels upset, i'll feel sad too...
GOD!
I wanna burst already!
And its already confirmed that its gonna be tmr!
I can't continue blogging anymore...
this is gonna be a long night for me...
and i can feel my tears coming...

alvinz blogged at 3:36 PM

***