Saturday, December 02, 2006
A person in love is a fool...an hour trying to sleep
an hour wandering like a lost spirit around my house
an hour weeping like a weakling on my cold marble floor
an hour squeezing my heart and lamenting to God how this could happen
Fool......
And i knew i was right...
just knew that she was lying to me about her feelings
just knew that she is going back to her ex again
and i cant believe how right i am at all these...
His every little action pack a punch of 5 years experience...
mine...? not even worth mentioning no matter how big they may be...
cant believe why sincerity has failed
cant believe why girls just like bad guys more than good ones
why good guys can only be buddies
I was merely a babysitter
and he got her back without doing anything
and i must say, his ploy worked really well, cos he knew she is always the soft hearted one, surely she will go back to him cos 5 years is really a long time, too long for her to give up no matter wat... making her jealous with his relationships with other girls so that she'll feel troubled and make him seem important... how smelly is that man?
even though problems are obvious and rampant
even though there are so many scars
even though she is certain that he will not ask her to patch up again, but weren't you hoping that he'll ask you? haha... you are lying again...
I wish i can bring myself to play these mind games with you so that i can get you,
but i know that i dun want to make you suffer mental tortures...
but hey wait, am i so sure she'll get jealous if i'm with other girls?
nah!
haha, crazy fool still being naive!
WAKE UP DUDE!
and i know this time the odds are so much more than i can bear...
just wat is pain to me now?
so wat if i'm in pain?
will she pity me and come back to comfort me?
fat hope man! WAKE UP!
in her eyes, her ex is the BEST BEST BESTEST man on EARTH!
And with just one qn, she can get him back again!
Who cares about this stupid fool suffering silently?
Suffering because this fool did everything for her willingly?
Seriously, if she is basking in her supposed happiness, she dun even care for some crazy fool...
Cos this fool means nothing!
gotten without anything
given up without losing anything
nothing to hold on to at all!
Wait, maybe i should stop addressing him as her ex...
it should be her present man...
haha
nearly 1 whole year of wooing and knowing her
she still can go back on her promises to me trice,
just dun wish to give up on the things that had hurt her
just wanna hold on to them as if they are so precious
just wanna hurt me instead of hurting him
just wanna do things for him instead of me
just wanna be with him instead of me
hah~
fool...
and i cant sleep
just cant sleep
already without sleep for 26 hours liao...
this thing is harrassing my mind and my heart
I wonder wat is really wrong with me?
Can someone tell me why?
Why did i go out to find love bravely and everytime, i get hurt even though i'm sincere?
Why i just cant be with the one i love?
Why must there always be obstacles for me?
Is something terribly wrong with me?
Am i too good to girls that they take me for granted?
Or am i just too unlucky to always meet this kind of people?
I've done everything that i can...
She likes my friends,
her sis likes me,
i think i can get along with her friends,
we exchange every little thing about our lives,
we share our joys and sorrows and can communicate so well,
we sang so well together that people could only marvel,
we seem in harmony togther,
we are perfect!
but...
beneath this illusion is a heart that is still lost,
lost to uncertainties and silly attachment to the past,
and also a heart that has been scarred and torn and weary and broken...
I'm totally broken, torn, scarred and weary...
And i hate myself for this trobbing heart that continues to say"I love you"
but i know the table is turned,
you've decided to turn away from the light i've shown you,
you've decided that its always worth holding on to something as long as time is a factor...
so stop telling me all the politically correct answers and avoiding the qns cos i know your ans...
so i guess i'll go back on my promise as well too...
from a happylistic me to a sadistic one...
wats worth holding on to is now alien to me...
shouldn't waste my youth like that man...
Lets have fun!
My honeymoon starts now!
alvinz blogged at 3:52 AM
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