Saturday, March 31, 2007
Holding on with no reason...it is obvious...
obvious that she's defending him...
and defending their failed r/s...
again...
and even when she can say that she feels nothing for him,
i finally found out the part 2 to her answers which she has always been hiding inside her last night...
"when couples are together for a long time already, its naturally that feelings will die down, i'll not have the longing to see him cos the honeymoon period is over, but that doesn't mean it is a strong enough reason for me to believe i dun love him anymore..."
i had held on to a false fact, believing that it was true,
that she no longer feels anything for him...
that she dun miss him, she dun have the longing to see him, that she feels normal just like treating any friend when talking to him...
and all of these, which should logically and rightfully point towards the conclusion that she do not love him anymore, can be so easily overthrown by her own psychological manipulation of her own mind, to change her own definition of love to even believe that in the absence of all these feelings, she could still be loving him...
and which i must agree...
love is a feeling that is undescribeable...
love makes you do things which you cant explain why you do it, yourself...
so she is doing things that she cant explain, which even i also cant explain for her...
so i guess she loves him...
and she has made me done so many things for her which i cant explain why i would go thru all these troubles to do it...
i guess i love her...
no...
i knew i love her...
but...
i'm so silly...
silly to the fact that like her,
i'm holding on without a reason...
it is obvious she dun love me...
it is obvious that she just wanna hang on to him because she still loves him...
it is obvious that i'm just a substitute in her life...
and it is even more obvious that she has never shown me the kind of recognition and security that i'm the man who has been making such a big difference in her life...
but i'm silly enough to hold on...
silly enough to be blocking out every girl who is interested in me just for her...
silly enough to be giving up so much of my time to accompany her just so that she can be happy...
silly enough to believe that she will be faithful to me and trust me...
silly enough to keep on believing her that she is trying her best to be fair to me by trying to solve this problem fast...
i'm so silly...
And i think i know what is the fairest thing to do now...
alvinz blogged at 10:32 AM
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